Resilience

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Why The Time To Slow Down Is When You Don't Have Time

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Why The Time To Slow Down Is When You Don't Have Time

When was the last time you kicked back, did absolutely nothing and investigated what it feels like to be bored? 

I'm guessing you might be challenged to pinpoint the time.

Avoiding boredom, staying busy, working longer hours, not taking care of yourself and celebrating that you can function on less sleep, won't help you achieve your goals faster.

Living our lives in this way, won't serve us, or others well. And in the long run it's likely going to cause illness and burnout.

Why then, do so many of us get stuck on this hamster wheel that keeps going faster and faster and doesn't stop unless we choose to stop it - or worse - when we're forced to? 

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The realization

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The realization

Do you find you go through periods in your life when everything feels pretty good? It’s kind of like those times when there’s nothing really significant going wrong and life feels, dare I say it? Complete. Maybe you just had a great family vacation, maybe you’re starting a new relationship, maybe business is growing, maybe you just published your first book. Basically - you’ve got it going on!

And then, in what seems like a split second, everything changes.  

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Why you're more than your thoughts

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Why you're more than your thoughts

Before I started meditating years ago, I had no idea I could disentangle myself from my busy mind. Our constant thinking and wandering mind, often leaves us feeling completely exhausted, stressed, and relieved to get to the end of each day. You know that feeling? When your inner voice says: "Thank god it's almost the weekend, so I can forget about my challenging week for a while." The trouble is, it's our constant thinking which pulls our attention in a thousand different directions, in very subtle ways, that we're very rarely aware of. This is what we call continuous stress.

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The truth about meditating

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The truth about meditating

It was exactly one year ago today I went on a 9-day silent retreat. 

I remember a sinking feeling in my stomach as we approached the monastery.

I felt nervous. But most of all what I remember were thoughts screaming at me: "Why on earth am I going to a monastery to spend nine days in silence with some monks?"

We pulled into the parking lot and my husband offered to carry my bags into the reception area. I told him to leave me there and just go. I wanted my family to depart as quickly as possible, or else I'd be too tempted to jump back in the car and go with them!

I checked in and found my room. The door next to mine led to a chapel and prayer room. There was a crucifix above my bed. Nothing else on the walls. Oh god, what had I let myself in for?.......

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3 steps to becoming more resilient

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3 steps to becoming more resilient

Many of us don't bounce back after getting knocked down. 

The main consequence of living in a culture that’s so focused on planning, certainty and perfection is that we have no idea what to do when things go wrong.

When the job you thought you would love turns out to be a disaster. When your romantic relationship falls apart. When you realize that everything you’ve worked so hard for doesn’t make you happy. 

We come crashing down. Then what? .......

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Is flow the secret to happiness?

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Is flow the secret to happiness?

"THE MORE FLOW WE EXPERIENCE IN DAILY LIFE, THE MORE LIKELY WE ARE TO FEEL HAPPY OVERALL."         

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a leading authority on positive psychology.

A good friend of mine living in Singapore asked me recently if I'm finding 'a flow' with all I'm learning and doing - as a side note - I recently transitioned from a 19 year career in marketing and branding to move into the business of emotional resilience.

I digress, back to flow.............

I LOVE that she asked that question.

BECAUSE OVER THE PAST MONTH, I FOUND AN UNEXPECTED..........

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10 startling realizations I had before 40

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10 startling realizations I had before 40

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to own way fewer things? 

Imagine for a moment what that might mean to you... maybe fewer clothes, fewer games and magazines, fewer devices and chargers, less beauty products, fewer batteries and light bulbs... maybe it would be a smaller home or fewer cars, or maybe no car? I could go on, but you get the point.  

A few years ago, my husband and I came to a startling realization...

10 ways to listen better

10 ways to listen better

Listening well can be one of the most important skills we have. How well we listen has a profound impact on our life and work and on the quality of our relationships with others.

Here are ten lessons I've learned from mindful listening that have helped me to better understand the difference between only hearing someone rather than deeply listening to them.  

1. CREATE SPACE

Pay attention to the urge to speak or offer input too soon. Hold that feeling in your awareness and continue to listen rather than respond too quickly. 

2. DON'T JUDGE

While judging can be a helpful way to evaluate, maintaining a non-judging, curious attitude can encourage the speaker to relax and be more...

I don't have time

I don't have time

I think time is an illusion.

The more we fill our lives with time-saving devices the more rushed we are. While the possibilities of information technology are potentially endless, they also put us under more pressure than ever to get more done, in less time. 

At some points we may feel there is never enough time to do what we need to do and time passes too quickly.  At other times...

7 reasons to let down your guard

7 reasons to let down your guard

I didn't know what I was doing there, in that room full of strangers.

Not just strangers, but people who had experienced some of life's greatest challenges. I felt like an outsider, as if I was somehow misplaced among these suffering people. What on earth was I doing there with all of them?  

What I was doing with them, was attending a 12-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Interpersonal Neurobiology course. 

The truth is, I've led and participated in dozens of executive workshops, but never one in which...

Why weaving a parachute every day might change your life

Why weaving a parachute every day might change your life

Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote, "Make sure you weave your parachute every day, rather than leave it to the time you have to jump out of the plane."

Excellent advice for skydivers and pilots. Is it also good advice for those of us who remain earthbound?

I was sitting in a room with 12 strangers, taking part in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, when I first heard about...